The Next Big Thing

I'd like to thank John LLeViness III for taking the time to interview me about my first e-book, 'In Due Time.'  You can purchase it at:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B009QTK8NK
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/253684

If you'd like to know more about John, you can find him here-
http://www.facebook.com/johnlevinessIII

What is the title of your latest book?
'In Due Time.'

Where did the idea come from for the book?
I got the idea from watching the 'Hostel' and 'Saw' movies.

What genre does your book fall under?
I'd have to say horror and suspense.

What actors would you choose to play the part of your characters in a movie rendition?
Wow, I really haven't considered that.

What is the one sentence sypnosis of your book?
Four criminals find themselves at the mercy of a mysterious vigilante, Mr, X.

Is your book self published or reprensented by an agency?
It's self published through Amazon, Lulu and Smashwords.

How long did it take you to write the first draft of the manuscript?
I'd say about two months.

What other books would you compare this story to within your genre?
I honestly don't know.

Who or what inspired you to write this book?
I wanted to explore the premise of people exacting revenge on the criminals that hurt them.

What else about your book might pique the reader's interest?
The readers might want to find out what if the criminals get their punishment, or do they escape.

'Dexter Morgan: The Great Anti-Hero'

            Serial killers are always the villain.  They're sadistic monsters who make it their mission to stalk and kill innocent victims.  Normally, we the audience cheers when the serial killers are caught or killed.  It's hard to imagine people cheering for a serial killer.  But what if a serial killer was a hero?  What if there was a serial killer out there we could actually root for?

            Jeff Lindsay created a series of novels that gave the world a serial killer that the world can cheer for.  His hero, or anti-hero if you will, is Dexter Morgan.  Dexter works for the Miami police department as a crime scene technician by day and is a serial killer by night.  However, Dexter only kills criminals.  He's a serial killer and a vigilante all in one.  He's made it his mission to take out the criminals that the law can't or won't touch.

            What makes Dexter such an interesting character is that he's conflicted.  He likes what he does.  He feels he's making the world a safer place by killing vicious criminals.  But at the same time, he wonders if he's helping the world.  He was asked himself: 'Am I good guy doing bad things, or a bad guy doing good things?'

            Showtime has taken the novels and made a great TV series.  Every Sunday, all of us fans tune in to see who will Dexter kill this week.  The show is currently on its seventh season.  Don't worry, I won't give away any spoilers.  But trust me, this is a show you need to watch.  I'm not going to lie.  The show does contain language, violence and sexual scenes.  Consider 'Dexter' your guilty pleasure.

Please Welcome....Mimi Barbour

MIMI BARBOUR

Author of The Vicarage Bench Series, Angels with Attitude Series, and a hot, new romantic suspense series called Vegas. Mimi Barbour lives on the east coast of Vancouver Island and writes her romances with tongue in cheek and a mad glint in her eye. “If I can steal a booklover’s attention away from their every-day grind, absorb them into a love story, and make them care about the ending, then I’ve done my job.”

Title: What do you like to read in a Christmas story?

I know what I like to read.

It’s all about families. I’m a sucker for romance, and old folks and an even bigger sucker for kids. When you join those features into one story and add in a heroine you can’t help but love, then the book is my idea of perfect entertainment.

Some of my friends tell me I’m a softie and tend to write naive tales about people who just aren’t that way anymore… kind and thoughtful, loving and giving. I beg to differ!! There is a world full of ‘nice’ people out there. Folks who live every day being helpful to others and generous with their families.

There’s one story in particular I’d like to share. My mother-in-law, a tiny, cranky, eighty-eight-year-old woman who has insisted on staying in her little house because she ….well she can. And the reason this is possible is because of her neighbour. A young man, maybe in his forties, has taken her under his wing (no pun intended) and goes there every day, looks after all her yard work, takes her grocery shopping and even to church. When she forces money on him, he’s terribly uncomfortable and has tried to tell her he doesn’t expect payment. See what I mean by angels in our midst???

My angel in this Christmas story is an old man called Pi. I created him as close to a real person as possible because I truly believe that we are surrounded by angels in our everyday lives. Ordinary people who behave in extraordinary and loving ways. In many cases, both men and women who come to ones aid without needing to be asked. I have friends like that and I’m sure most of you do also. In fact, you’ve probably acted like that yourself at one time or another. We all have stories to tell of the time that we…!

So this Christmas tale is my present to those of you who are suckers for romance and prickly little boys and loveable seniors. For your holiday pleasure, I’ve wrapped up all these elements up in an entertaining parcel called “Lovable Christmas Angel”.

Hint: This would make a perfect gift for someone special on your list who you know is sweet on those special uplifting stories that make the season just that little bit brighter.

Amazon special price 99cents

If you'd like to know more about the author:

Twitter: @MimiBarbour

Blog: http://mimibarbour.blogspot.com

Facebook page: http://on.fb.me/ppw6av

Halloween

          I have many favorite holidays.  Christmas, 4th of July, Easter, and of course Halloween.  When I was a kid, I had so much fun.  Even though I didn't always dress up, I still had fun.  I would help out my brother, Aaron, and my sister, Sam, help pick out their costumes.  My brother and I would act as bodyguards for our sister that night as we escorted her out trick or treating.  I was a picky eater, so instead of eating my candy, I'd give my haul to them earning lots of bonus points with them.

            Horror movies were also a mandatory Halloween staple.  .  Back when I was a kid, my parents were really strict on what movies I could watch.  Watching PG-13 horror movies seemed to ruin my Horror movie experience.  I remember watching Michael Jackson's 'Thriller' on MTV.  The scene where he turned into a werewolf scared me, but being scared by that scene became a tradition. 

            As I got older, my choices in Halloween movies increased.  After finally being able to watch R-rated movies, I would watch as many scary movies as I could.  I would surf the cable channels looking for the goriest, scary movies I could find.  Of course as soon as I found one, the doorbell would ring signaling trick or treaters.

            As an adult, I can still have fun on this holiday.  Of course with work and school, I don't have as much free time as I did when I was a kid.  A lot of people my age go out to the clubs and bars.  I'm not much of a drinker so I prefer to either stay home or go to a friend's house.  Adult or a kid, there's just something about Halloween that's intoxicating.  It's hard to describe.  

Behind The Keyboard: 'In Due Time'

I love to write.  Of course I want to become filthy, stinking rich by doing so.  But I have to be patient.  No one becomes famous overnight.  And if they do, it doesn't seem to last very long.  That being said, I figured I'd give you, my reader and hopefully someday my fan, and look behind my first e-book 'In Due Time.'
I'll do my best not to give away any spoilers.  What's the point of reading a book if you already know how it ends?

I came up with the idea by watching 'Hostel' and 'Saw.'  Those movies were disturbing in which we saw innocent people being tortured to death.  I started to wonder if it would be equally disturbing if criminals were tortured to death.  I mean brutal criminals.  Rapists, child molesters, drug dealers, cop killers.  The kind  people often fantasize about killing.

The four criminals, Kevin, Dawson, Matt and Mitchell are scum.  Three of them have no remorse for their actions.  Matt seems to have some remorse.  But is he truly sorry?  Or is he sorry he got caught?  I wanted to create some truly horrible people.  The kind you want to die by the end of the story.  I tried to give each criminal a personality, a bit of background into them.  I figured the more you knew about them, the more you would hate them.

These four men find themselves in a strange environment.  A mysterious vigilante, Mr. X, has brought them together so they can be punished for the crimes they committed.  Only he knows what fate awaits these men.  He obviously put a lot of planning into this event.  But is he alone?  What does he have planned for his captives?

The story is violent.  If you're going to do a story about criminals being punished, you need to go all out.  You can't hold back.  This story could be considered 'Horror,' or 'Horror\Suspense.'  Horror stories need to have some degree of violence in them.  I'm not saying you have to make it bloody and twisted.  But if you do a Horror story without violence, people won't take it seriously.

The hero (or possibly villain of the story, depending on how you view him) is Mr. X.  Mr. X is the ultimate man of mystery.  I don't even give him an actual name.  I just call him Mr. X.  He's the mastermind of this revenge scenario.  I consider him to be James Bond's evil twin brother.  Both are men or mystery.  Both are capable of violence.  But James Bond commits acts of violence to protect himself and others.  Mr. X planned this nightmare because he could.

I hope by reading this blog you've become interested in my story.  It's only $0.99.  Hopefully this cheap price will entice you to give it a shot.  I am planning on doing a sequel.  I'm just not sure what it'll be about.  I want to do a story worth reading, not some story I slap together at the last minute.  Thank you for reading this blog.  Now go buy my story.  Here are the following links where it can be purchased:
http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Guardian27
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B009QTK8NK

Erotica Is Getting Popular: God Helps Us All...

I've heard of porn and erotica.  Is there a difference between the two?  Which one is better?  Which one is sexier?  The way I see it, they are very similar.  Erotica, however, is classier.  It's easier to admit you read erotica than to admit you watch porn.  Of course, guys would be beat to a bloody pulp if their friends found them reading an erotic\romance novel.  Watching porn will give them a pass.

Erotica is becoming trendy.  '25 Shades of Grey' is one of the up and coming books that is paving the way for erotic literature.  I've never read '25 Shades,' but I am tempted too.  I mean you hear so much about a particular thing, you become curious.  You begin to wonder if all the hype is justified.  Is the book really that naughty?  It could be fun to read.

I have no problem with people out there writing erotica.  To each his or her own.  I'm a writer myself.  (Or rather trying to be)  You have to challenge yourself by stepping out of your comfort zone.  And besides stepping into the erotic realm might be your ticket to fame.  There's is nothing wrong with exploring your sexual side.  It's healthy to be curious and wanting to explore your sexuality.

Writing Erotica is a safe way to explore the world of sexuality.  You can create scenarios that you are normally too afraid to explore in the real world.  You can create characters that represent a part of you.  You can finally be the casanova you always wanted to be.  Just because you're against erotica doesn't mean erotic writers are bad people.  If just means you have a stick up your ass.
Just kidding.

Too Stressed To Write

I'm a writer, but not a professional writer.  I have written several things over the years.  Stories for fun, stories for school, blogs, I even wrote a couple of poems.  I'm trying to get published.  I have a few ideas for short stories, novels, and a couple of poems.  I've started to work on a few projects.  But I can't bring myself to finish them.

It's because I'm stressed out.  I've been unemployed for almost two years now.  I was on unemployment, so that made things easier.  Now the unemployment has run out.  I'm about finish school at Fresno State University.  I will have a Bachelor's degree in Journalism.  I hope I'll be able to get a job with that degree.
I'm proud that I stuck with school this long.

It's so hard to write when you're stressed.  Worrying about money, life in general, makes it hard to concentrate.  It's easy to write blogs.  They're quick and easy to write.  But anything else takes patience and concentration.  It's hard to work on a novel, even a short story, if you're worrying about paying your bills.  It's going to be even harder during school.  Trying to do homework and study for tests takes precedent.  It's possible to juggle creative writing and school work at the same time.

I'm about to get my financial aid for school soon.  That'll take some of the financial burden away.  Maybe I'll be able to concentrate more on my writing once my bills are paid off.  The less stressed I am, the more I can write.  Once the stress goes away, the creative process can continue.

Total Recall (1990) or Total Recall (2012)??

(CONTAINS SPOILERS, DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE MOVIE YET!!)

Anytime a remake (reboot, whatever you want to call it) comes out, many people, like me, become skeptical.  It seems Hollywood prefers to remake old movies rather than take the time and money to make a new movie.  Remakes can go good or bad.  The majority of the public seems to be annoyed by remakes, so as soon as word gets out there's going to be a remake, the public seems to be automatically against it.

Back in 1990, 'Total Recall,' was one of Arnold Schwarzenegger's biggest hits.  It had great action, special effects and one hell of a premise.  Arnold played Douglas Quaid, a construction worker who is really a secret agent.  He dodges soldiers, assassins, to save the people of Mars by changing the atmosphere to give the Martians free air.

In the remake, 'Total Recall,' director Len Wiseman wisely chose to keep most of the original intact.  Doug Quaid, this time played by Colin Farrell, is now a factory worker.  He dreams of doing something more.  He decides to go to Rekall to get a fantasy.  However, he is soon attacked and must defend himself against a group of soldiers.  Quaid must now fight an unknown enemy while trying to find out why he is being targeted.

To be honest, I like both movies.  It's rare that you find yourself liking the original and the remake.  Len Wiseman did a great job with the remake.  He changed some major plot points.  Quaid doesn't go to Mars, there are no mutants.  In the original Quaid must risk it all to get the people of Mars air.  In the remake, Quaid must stop an invasion that could kill millions of innocent people.  Also in the remake, there is no army of soldiers, but rather a robot army.

The remake still has great special effects, awesome action scenes.  The acting is pretty good too.  Colin Ferrell does a great job as someone who a believable person.  Kate Beckinsale shines as she actually plays a  villain this time.  Jessica Biel also gets a nod as the woman that is kind hearted, but can fight as well.  Bryan Cranston, who is an awesome actor, doesn't get much screen time in this movie.

The remake of 'Total Recall' proves that if a movie is going to be remade doesn't necessarily mean it'll be bad.  Give it a chance.  For better or worse, it'll be fun to discuss afterwards.

Chick Fil A

There's been a lot of talk about Chick Fil A's stance on gay marriage.  Personally, I support gay marriage.  I have no problem with, let alone, see why gay couples can't get married.  If you don't like gay marriage, then don't go to one.  Don't put others down, and try to impede their happiness because YOU have a problem with.

I have eaten at Chick Fil A a couple of times.   I don't go there that often.  It's not because I disagree with their stance on same-sex marriage.  I don't go there because I think they're too expensive.  When you're a college student on a very tight budget, you have to be very careful (choosy) on when and where you go to eat.

A lot of people choose to eat there to show their support for the restaurant.  Others choose to boycott Chick Fil A.  I have no problem with either of these people.  Just because you support gay marriage and eat at Chick Fil A, doesn't mean you're evil.  Just because you're against gay marriage and eat there, doesn't mean you're evil.  It just means you like their food.

Chick Fil A does have a right to express their opinions.  Do I agree with them? No.  Does that mean I'm going to hate them or their employees? No.  You can disagree with someone and still be civil to them.  No one has to draw a line and say 'Agree with me or else.'

My First Cruise

I had never been on a cruise before.  Oh sure, I've heard plenty about them.  I always wondered what it would be like to take one.  I finally had the chance to go on one.  I went with my dad, Dennis, stepmom, Robin, brothers, James and Aaron, my sister, Samantha, her boyfriend, Ryan, and my sister in law, Christina.
We were all heading to the Bahamas.

I was a little bit nervous.  I had rarely been out of the country.  Anytime you go someplace new, it's both exciting and scary.  Nonetheless, I was excited to go.  The cruise ship itself was pretty cool.  It was smaller than most cruise ships, or so I was told.  The cruise ship was basically a moving hotel.  It had rooms, restaurants, and shops just like a hotel.  Only difference is that a hotel stays in one spot.  A cruise ship moves.  Plus your view changes.  One day your views is that of the ocean.  The next you could see an island outside your room.

One of the perks was free food.  Well, it came with the cost of your cruise ticket.  The food was amazing.  They had a good buffet at the Windjammer Cafe.  The food there held several choices.  Plus the view of the ocean was a nice touch.  They had two more restaurants, Vincent's and Claude's.  (Not sure who they were named after.)  Both restaurants had some really good dishes.  The menu had some fancy dishes that would've been really expensive.  The staff was polite and really helpful.

Another perk was the view.  I live in an apartment so my views consists of trees and the other apartment buildings.  It was nice to have an ocean view for a few days.  It was cool to see the ocean outside my room's window before I went to bed and when I woke up.  The room itself was nice.  A bit small, but not uncomfortably so.

The cruise had some musicians perform.  There was a band, and some pianists perform.  They both played some nice, relaxing music.  It was funny because the pianists used Ipads to hold their sheet music.  I guess technology really does change everything.  The cruise ship even had a small casino aboard.  I'm not much of a gambler.  But the casino was nice.  They even held daily drawings for cash and prizes.

The Bahamas was so cool.  We took a sight-seeing tour around the island of Nassau.  My family and I took a limo tour.  We saw so many sights.  We even saw some of the poor neighborhoods.  Seeing how some people are less fortunate makes you grateful for what you have.  Our guide, Sydney, really knew his stuff.  He told us plenty of information about the places and people we saw.  The weather there was hot and muggy, but didn't ruin our fun.

All in all, it was good, memorable experience.  Although I did get homesick toward the end, I'm glad I want. I'm not sure when I'll be able to go on a cruise again.  Even If I never get to go on a cruise again, I'm grateful enough I went on this one.  It was relaxing to not only get away for a while, but to do it with my family.
It sucked that I had to go home.  Vacation is fun, but sadly, you have to go back to reality eventually.

20 Things That Made My Childhood Awesome (in no particular order)

20. NES
19. Sega Genesis
18. Nickelodeon Channel
17. 80s cartoons
16. 90s cartoons
15. Drive-Ins
14. Slumber parties with friends
13. Easter egg hunts
12. Sneaking to get a glimpse of my Christmas presents on Christmas morning
11. School field trips to the Fresno Fair
10. Trips to Disneyland with my family
09. Trips to Yosemite with my family
08. Going to the comic book store with my dad and brother
07. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (the cartoon series and the movies)
06. When 'The Simpsons' first came on
05. When 'Beavis and Butthead' first came on
04. When 'Ren & Stimpy' first came on
03. Watching my sister, when she was really young, feed the ducks
02. Teaching my sister how to high-five
01. Not having to pay bills

Some Movies I Haven't Seen

-Caddyshack
-The Godfather (all 3)
-Scarface
-Casablanca
-The Money Pit
-The Great Escape
-The Towering Inferno
-High Noon
-The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

Drive-Ins: (Almost) Gone, But Never Forgotten

One of the places I remember the most fondly growing up was the drive-in.  The Woodward Park Drive-In, off of Blackstone, close to the 41.  It seemed like every weekend my family and I would go there and watch a movie.  Sometimes it would be my dad, Dennis, my brother, Aaron, and I would go.  Sometimes my brother and I would bring some friends.

There's just something cool about a drive-in.  Yes, sit down theaters are cool too.  But drive-ins have a cool atmosphere.  You can roll down the windows of your car and let the cool breeze in.  You could stretch out in the backseat while you watch the movie.  My favorite thing to do was to watch the other movies playing.  I remember my brother and I would go to the bathroom or to the snack bar.  We would see a horror movie playing that our parents wouldn't let us see.  We would then try and watch it for a few moments before our parents would come and look for us.

The price was amazing.  $5 per car.  You try and go see a movie now, and it's $7, and that's during the matinee at most places.  I think some drive-ins even had double features.  I think there are some drive-ins around.  I'm not sure where, I'd love to go to one.  Hey, here's an idea: Instead of building more Starbucks, Wal Marts, or Costcos, let's build more drive-ins.  It's time drive-ins made a come back.

'True Blood' Season Premiere

I wanted to do this sooner, but I wanted to wait until more people had a chance to catch the season premiere of the new season of 'True Blood.'  Don't worry I'll try not to give away too many spoilers.  Last season, season 4, had its moments.  Some good, some bad.

Last season the writers took a good idea and stretched it way too thin.  This season, they tried to cram too much in just one episode.  The writers tried to wrap up some loose ends from last season, and add some new story arcs.  Adding new story arcs sounds like a good idea, but you need to stretch them out.

The major story arc involved Sookie's best friend, Tara.  Last season we saw Tara get shot in the head with a shotgun.  Tara's cousin, Lafayette, had the idea of turning Tara into a vampire.  Pam, who showed up at Sookie's place looking for Eric, thought it was a dumb idea.  Sookie managed to convince her promising one really big favor.  Pam agreed to try, informing Lafayette and Sookie know it might not work.

At first, I thought this was a lame idea.  This being a supernatural drama, a character dying isn't such a big deal.  They could always come back as a ghost, vampire, etc.  I think it would've been a more dramatical impact if Tara just died.  Granted, Tara becoming a vampire may prove interesting.  But it has to be done right.

Another note, Alceide and Sam pretty much bonded after Alceide helped Sam avenge his brother, Tommy.  To protect Alceide, Sam told Alceide's pack that he killed their leader, Marcus.  A new character that emerged was Marcus's mother.  She clearly wants revenge for her dead son.  Marcus was a psychotic prick who constantly threatened his ex-wife, Sam's current girlfriend.

I'm really not sure how much longer the writers can take the Marcus story line.  Let's say Marcus's pack tracks down and kills Alceide and Sam.  What then?  And if Alceide and Sam track the pack down, and kill them.  How much longer can this story play out either way?  I like the characters Sam and Alceide, but I can't help but wonder how many more story lines can the writers do involving these two.

Bill and Eric are being targeted by The Authority.  The Authority is made up of the world's most powerful vampires.  Since Bill and Eric killed Nan Flanningan, a vampire mouth piece for The Authority, they've been targeted.  It's too early to tell what will happen with Bill and Eric.  What will The Authority have them do?

Nora, who happens to be Eric's sister, has been added to the show.  Nora and Eric go at it fast and furious. Nora mentions that they are brother and sister, seeing as how they were both sired (made) by Godric.  I know that doesn't make them actual siblings, but it's unsettling to have two characters who are sexually involved referred to as siblings, in any sense.

Christopher Meloni has joined the cast one of the Authority leaders.  I can't wait to see him in action.  I've missed seeing him on 'Law & Order: SVU.'  I'm not sure if Meloni is supposed to be a good guy or a bad guy.  Either way I think Meloni was help the show this season.  I'm just disappointed he wasn't in this episode.

This episode was good, but not good enough to wait all summer for.  The Tara\vampire thing was interesting, but seemed too forced.  The Authority does hold promise, but should've been elaborated more on.  The season just started, so it's too soon to tell how the season will play out.  Last season was a disappointment, so this season could make or break the show.

Writing Sample

Here is something I wrote for my 'Creative Non-Fiction' writing class a year ago.  

“Fate Can Kiss My Ass!”

-Dylan Patton

The darkness will try to kill your light

Hope is not guaranteed

If you want an happy ending,

You have to fight!

You have to fight!

You want to kill the darkness?

You have to fight!

            Pretty catchy huh?  I think so too.  Its because it’s from a song I wrote.  “You have to fight.“ It was a hit single from my group, The Dark Fighters.  Oh, I’m Mason Cantrell by the way.  The Dark Fighters was the world’s greatest Rock & Roll band. 

At least I though so.

            We got out big break by entering a contest for the station 106.5 KZZL.  By winning, we got the honor for opening for Metallica.  We even got a record deal out of it.  “You have to fight,” and “Unrealities” were our two hit singles.  Our only two hit singles.

            I woke up this morning, like every morning, wondering how and where it went wrong.  I mean we had a kicking sound.  We got a standing ovation after our set.  Our album, “Opponents of the Dark” sold 500 copies across the US.  Not exactly record breaking, but it’s something.

            But then it stopped.  Our label dropped us because our album wasn’t selling.  I don’t get it! We were awesome! I guess because we didn’t get drunk, trash hotel rooms and become addicted to drugs, are the reasons why we weren’t cool enough.  We had two hot chicks in our band! That’s not cool enough?

            Cassandra, Alex, Brock and I made up The Dark Fighters.  We were all close, like a family.  We did everything we could to make it big.  We spent countless hours writing and recording.  We spent tons of money buying the best instruments we could find.  We promoted 24\7.

            But I guess fate didn’t give a shit.  Fate got together with the rest of the world and decided that we were useless.  It makes me so angry to see the type of music people prefer over us. 

            Lady Gaga, that talent less whore.  Miley Cyrus who can’t act, no matter what wig she puts on.  The Jonas Brothers? Don’t get me started on the Jonas Brothers.  Oh and Justin Bieber.           Are you fucking kidding me?? That little shit who looks like a sex change gone horribly wrong!  He’s better than us?

            I’m sorry.  That was out of line.  It just hurts so much to work so hard for your dream, only to have them taken away.  I wanted so badly to be a musician.  I knew deep down that I would and should be famous.  But I tried and failed.

            My band and I haven’t talked.  I guess it’s too painful to talk to each other.  It’s like seeing each other we’re reminded of what we had and lost.  I tried to get in contact with them.

Looking back, I’m sorry I did.

            Brock overdosed on drugs.  Reality couldn’t accept Brock, so he tried to escape into whatever drugs he could find.  It worked too well, and now he’s dead.  I bumped into his mother at a gas station.  Even though she whispered Brock’s fate, I could feel the heat from her eyes.

She blames me for Brock’s death.  Disagreeing with her won’t bring him back.

            I saw Cassandra at a Starbuck’s.  From what she told me, she’s been in a few films.  The haunted look in her eyes told me they’re the type of films she doesn’t want people to see.  When I tried to hug her, she stiffened.  I hope it was because she hates me.  I’m scared to think that some evil son of a bitch raped her.  But the haunted look and her body language hinted that her films aren’t the only cruel twist of fate she endured.

            Alex faired better.  She managed to get a job for her father.  She sells cars at a dealership.  She and her father never got along.  He constantly put her down.  He never hesitated to remind her ‘A musician is a waste of time.  You will fail.’  And now he reminds her just how right he was.  I try to visit Alex every now and then.  When I do, her father looks at me and laugh.

He doesn’t have to say it.  “You’re the reason why my daughter failed.”  His laugh reminds me of how successful he is and how worthless I am.

            I’m living a constant and slow death.  I dropped out of high school to pursue my passion of music.  I know have no idea what to do with my life.  I considered being a teacher, but I already lost one dream   I couldn’t stand to lose another one. 

            My parents live far away.  I’m in California, they’re in New York.  I’m too ashamed to ask them for money.  My parents have always been supportive.  But I know that if I ask help for once, I’ll have to ask for help again.  I don’t want to be a burden. 

            I was able to get a job at a local burger joint, Burger Heaven.  I hate it.  My manager is younger than me.  He treat me like a slave.  Most of my co-workers are fresh out of high school.

Oh they know who I am. 

“You’re that rocker who sucks and will always suck.”

            I keep trying to apply, to find another job.  But I have a feeling that no one wants to hire a nobody.  Even has beens are cooler than me.  I’m a ‘never been.’  Has beens had their shot at fame.  They made money.  Some of them even have fans who still worship them.  Most bands that are has beens, were given a chance. 

            Never beens like me, are a living joke.  Fate held out its hand with a chance, let us hold it, then said ‘Oh wait, never mind.’  We’re casted aside and left to die.  If a famous group of musicians die, the world will cry and mourn.

            When Brock died, no one cared.  I have a feeling that when Brock was found, the police or paramedics took one look and said ‘There’s another poor soul.’  If they did find ID on him, it wouldn’t have mattered.  They would know his name, nothing more.

            Cassandra isn’t dead, but deep down I’m scared.  When I think of that sad look, that sad way she seemed to hold herself told me something tragic.  She wants to die.  But she doesn’t have enough courage to kill herself, not yet.  I hope that I’m wrong.  I hope that Cassandra will be happy. 

            Yeah right.  Because life was so fucking great to her.  Sometimes Fate wants people to die, to suffer.  Cassandra is the kindest, most sweetest person you could imagine.  But for some reason, Fate wanted her to do filthy films.  To be used for sex then discarded.  Even if Fate were a real person, and Cassandra begged to be happy, Fate would look at her and just laugh.

‘It’s what I want.  Not what you want.’ it would tell her.

            It takes everything I have to get ready.  To walk across my dingy, pathetic studio apartment to get ready for the day.  Prepping myself in the bathroom makes it even worse.

I’m so broke I can’t even afford the good stuff.  Toothpaste, soap and shampoo are all bought at the 99-cent store. 

            The only time I get to eat is at work.  I beg every now and then for money.  I get some to help, but not enough.  I don’t have a phone, can’t afford one.  If I have to make a call, I go to the library near my apartment and use the one there.  I guess it’s because the librarian there feels sorry for me.

            TV? Nope.  Books? Nope.  Friends? If I did, I don’t think they even remember me.  I’m now the guy everyone ends a cruel joke with ‘At least you’re not Mason.’  I wonder if my life will get better.  And if it does, for how long?

            Now I’m getting dressed for work.  To the job I hate.  For the chance to work by the people who stop talking as soon as I enter the room.  To deal with customers who yell at me because they hate their food, maybe even their lives.  And lucky me, I’m the most available target.

            I walk to the door as fast as I can.  Before leaving for work, most people take one last look at their home.  They do it because they are grateful for what they have.  Most people have someone to kiss or hug goodbye.  I don’t.  If I look back at my apartment before I leave, it’ll only depress me.

            So that’s it.  If I left anything out, I’m sorry.  I tried to become famous.  I tried to live my dream.  But hey shit happens.  I once heard the saying ‘Fate is a cruel mistress.’  The best I figure, Fate decides what happens. 

Kind of scary isn’t it?

            To try with all your might to achieve happiness in your life, only to have someone or something make the final decision.  I sometimes think Brock is the lucky one.  He’s done. He can relax now.  He has no more worries.  He no longer has to worry about fear, doubt or heart break.

He’s resting. 

            Here are some parting words.  Fate is an asshole.  No matter how badly I wanted to be famous, or deserved to be famous, Fate didn’t care.  Fate decided to use me for sport.  It wanted to make an example of my friends.  It wanted to destroy their lives because it could.  It’s taunting me now.  It looks at me and smiles evilly.

“Cassandra, Alex, you.  One of you are next.  Who? I’ll surprise you!”

Hey fate, kiss my ass.

First Ebook

I'm trying to get my first book published.  It's going to be on lulu.com.  It's a site that you can self publish your own work.  I figured I'd give it a shot.  But it's been a long and slow process.  This being my first work, I want it to look as good as possible.  If it comes out sloppy, it'll reflect badly on me.

I want to make sure my story is not rushed.  I've gone over it a few times to edit and make sure there are no typos or grammatical errors.  I also want to make the story flows easily.  It's easy to repeat yourself or rush the story too quickly.  Plus there might be a scene that seems good at first, but later you realize it would be better to cut the scene out.

I also want to make sure it's properly copyrighted.  I doubt someone will steal it, but you never know.  After all the work I put into it, the last thing I want is for someone to steal it and make money off my story.  I know I'm not a perfect writer, but I take pride in my work damnit.  I just have to be patient.  When the time is right, it'll be done.

Summer Vacation

Well another semester at college ends, and summer vacation is about to begin.  I'm excited and also a little scared.  I'm excited because school is over and I get a chance to relax.  No more homework, no more studying for exams.  It feels good to have a breather.

I'm still job hunting though.  I hate not having a job.  I thought I would've had one by now.  But the job market is hard.  I'm applying for every job I see.  I'm not picky.  I don't see myself as a snob.  I don't see any job as 'beneath me.'  I just I just have to remain positive.

Why You Should See 'Cabin In the Woods'

'Cabin In the Woods' is a movie that has generated a lot of buzz.  Its release has been pushed back quite a few times.  After seeing the movie, it was worth the wait.  Fans of Joss Whedon won't be disappointed.  This movie bears his trademark of unique story-telling with dark humor.

Joss was able to take the traditional horror movie scenario of young adults going to a cabin and being hunted by evil.  Joss however was able to add a creative twist.  I don't want to give too much away.  There are plenty of twists to keep you guessing the truth of what is really going on.  An added bonus is Joss using many of his actors from his previous TV shows.  Amy Acker, (Angel, Dollhouse) Fran Kranz, (Dollhouse) Tom Lenk, (Buffy, Angel) are the ones I recognized.

'Cabin In the Woods' is a rare horror movie that you will want to see over and over.  Most horror movies you watch again just for the gore factor, or to make fun of.  There are very few horror movies that are worth watching again.  'Cabin In the Woods' is fun to watch over again.  I can't wait to see what Joss does next.

The Lottery

Well the Mega Millions Jackpot came and went.  And I didn't win.  Someone else won that insane $640 million jackpot.  I'll admit I am cynical when it comes to a lot of things in life.  But winning the lottery?  Come on, no one wins the lottery.  I mean, yes people win the lottery.  You heard about it in the news.  But do you ever meet them?

It shocks me how much people get swept away in this gambling craze.  I rarely play the lottery.  I bought 6 tickets for this latest drawing.  I wanted to win desperately.  I can't even begin to tell you how much I needed that money.   But I wasn't about to spend every penny I had trying to win.  If you want to gamble, you have to be smart about it.

I doubt I will ever win the lottery.  I might try every now and then.  But to be honest, if I ever do win, I'll probably die of shock.  That or spend every waking moment fearing that I'll be robbed of my money.  Or worrying that my friends and family will try and steal my winnings.  So I'll end with this question.  Is it more stressful to worry that you're going to win, or actually winning the lottery??

'The Hunger Games' Is it for kids or adults?

'The Hunger Games' was a great movie.  Even though it had a PG-13 rating, it was intense.  There was violence and blood, but as to how graphic it was can be debatable.  The idea of young children killing each other is upsetting, no matter how much or how little violence is shown.

The plot of the movie is disturbing.  A group of kids and teens must fight to the death.  The winner will be given untold riches so that he or she will be set for the rest of his or her life.  The movie's rating may not seem as much a warning.  If it was rated 'R,' parents may be more weary.  People see 'PG-13' and say to themselves 'How bad can it be?'

'The Hunger Games' had some pretty violent scenes.  I won't reveal them, because I know a lot of people hate to have a movie ruined.  The plot of the movie may upset some people to the point that the very idea of the movie will scare them off.  I found the film to be violent, but I've seen far worse.  I have no kids so I have the luxury of not having to worry about if this movie will affect my pretend kids' minds.

The movie does have plenty of political back story.  It raises the question of how much people should tolerate from their government.  But I doubt kids will wonder that.  When I was a kid, if someone mentioned words like 'revolution' and 'dictatorsip' I would have no idea what these terms meant.  

 And as you watch the 'games' unfold, you might ask yourself. 'What would I do?'  Both the movie and the books were created to get a rise out of people.  I'm pretty sure the author of the books wanted both the books and movies to get to people to think about the seriousness of the games.

To the adults out there, be careful of this movie.  It's the type of movie you might want to see for yourself and then see if it's okay for your kids to see.  Think carefully about what you are seeing.  Some saw the 'Harry Potter' and 'Twilight' movies as inappropriate.  But to be fair, in those movies the characters only killed to defend themselves and the people they cared about.  In 'The Hunger Games,' the characters kill because they are forced to.  Because they are trained and driven to win.

'The Hunger Games' will be one those cinema sagas that will be talked about for years.  But I think only adults should watch this movie.  Adults can watch it and fully grasp the meaning of the movie.  Kids might watch it and be scared, possibly even traumatized.  Parents pay close attention to this movie.  It means more than you may realize.

Whitney Houston's Death

Don't get me wrong.  I'm sad that Whitney Houston died.  But the press coverage is driving me nuts.  Recently the press released a statement saying she died by 'drowning in a bathtub.'  But the statement also revealed she had drugs in her system.  So technically wouldn't that mean she died of an overdose?  If she was sober and she had an accident and drowned, that's one thing.  But if she did drugs, and then drowned, that's something else entirely.

I'm not trying to insult Whitney.  I was raised to respect people, even after they die.  But let's be honest.  Whitney was a drug addict.  Trust me, people have called her worse.  I understand that the feelings of her friends and family have to be taken into consideration.  But avoiding the topic altogether, to me, seems like it's more insulting.

A lot of people have insulted her over the years.  And now that she died, they try to over-compensate.  They call her a 'music goddess.'  Or they claim to be her biggest fans.  It's pretty cruel to insult someone over the years, but after they die, THEN show that person respect.  If you're going to respect someone, I mean really respect them, then you should do it all the time.

I never considered myself a fan of Whitney Houston.  In my opinion, yes she was a drug addict.  But I never called her a 'crack whore, 'junkie,' druggie.'  I never bought any of her CDs.  I never once claimed to be one of her 'biggest fans.'  I was surprised and saddened by her death.  Just because I wasn't one of Whitney Houston's fans, doesn't mean I'm going to insult her.  Nor am I going to pretend to be something I'm not.

My Thoughts on 'Walking Dead': Season 1

Ever since I was a little kid, I loved zombies.  Yes, they did scare me, but that's what I liked about them.  When I was younger, and even today, I love horror movies.  So when I heard there were would be a TV show about zombies, I was pretty stoked.  I heard it was based on a series of graphic novels.  I haven't read them, but nonetheless I could wait to watch the show.

I was really impressed by the series premiere.  The story, a sheriff deputy must face a zombie horde as he makes his way to a family.  Thankfully, the zombies were actually scary.  I also loved the back story of the characters.  Rick, the main character, had just woken from a coma.  He was frantic in seeking his wife, Lori, and his son, Carl.  Little did Rick know, Lori was sleeping with his best friend and partner, Shane.  It stood to reason that Shane and Lori were sleeping together to comfort each other during this disaster.  Or where they?  Is it possible Shane and Lori were sleeping together even before the zombie outbreak?

Throughout the first season, we witnessed as Rick strugged and fought his way to reunite with his family.  He braved plenty of zombies, even went on a rescue mission to save a man, Glenn, he barely knew.  When he was finally reunited with his family.  it was a happy time.  However, the happiness wouldn't last forever.  In a world where the dead come to life, is anyone truly safe?

I don't want to give away too much.  There might be some people out there who haven't seen the show yet.  But hurry, you have no idea what you're missing.  I really liked how the first season of  'The Walking Dead.' handles itself.  There are plenty of scares and gore.  But there were also plenty of story arcs to keep your attention.  I already mentioned Lori and Shane.  There's another story arch that gets introduced when the characters decide to the CDC (Center for Disease Control) to see if there is a cure for 'Walker Virus.'  (That's what I call it.)  It becomes a dangerous trip.  Characters die, loyalties are questioned.

Speaking of characters, my favorite is Daryl (Norman Reedus).  Daryl is a bad-ass who first starts out as a loner.  He wields a mean crossbow and has amazing aim with it.  At first, Daryl detaches himself from the group, but later becomes closer to them.  He realized that if they need to survive, they need to stick together.
Although we see Daryl become a bit softer, he's still quite the bad ass.

My only complaint about the first season was that it was only eight episodes.  The season tried to explore as many plot lines as it could in such few episodes.  If it had more episodes, it could've had more story lines and more zombie killing action.  But the first season was it was.  A great beginning to something that only continues to become more awesome.

Job Hunting

            I don't know what's more stressful, trying to pass my finals or looking for a job.  It's

funny when I had a job, I wish I didn't have one.  Now that I'm unemployed, I wish I had a job. 

Back when I was working, I hated my job with a fiery passion.  I dreaded going to work.  But at

least I had a job.  Now that I'm unemployed, I miss having a job.  A job that you hate is still a

job.

            It seems like there aren't that many jobs out there.  The fact that I'm currently going to

school four days out of the week hurts my chances.  A lot of employers wants someone with full

availability.  But fat chance of that happening.  It seems a lot of people are going to school these

days.  I'm going to school so I won't have to spend the rest of my life going from part time job to

part time job.

            I've been looking for a job for two years now.  It angers me when people find out how

long I've been unemployed and give me that rude pause.  It makes my blood boil when they give

that polite yet condescending 'Oohh.'  Some people don't mean it that way, I know.  But other

people need to quit being judgmental.  I am going to school.  I am trying to find a job.  It's not

like I'm spending every waking moment sitting on my butt playing video games.

            Another thing that makes me angry is rude employers.  I've lost track of how many

interviews ended with 'We'll call you and let you know our decision.'  Anyone care to take a

guess how that ended up?  Yes I understand it's hard to get back to all the applicants.  But even a

quick phone call that says 'You didn't get the job,' would be more polite than no call at all.

            I can see how my availability could pose a problem.  Yes, with the holidays coming up,

employers need someone who can be available 24\7.  But think about it.  Most job applicants are

in their 20s.  If they apply for a job and have open availability, it means they aren't in school. 

And more than likely, have no job experience.  But hey, if you'd rather hire that person that

somone like me who has plenty of job experience, but limited availability due to a reasonable

reason, by all means.  Get back to me and let me know that turned out for you.

            Yes I know I'm coming across as cynical.  But I've  been looking for a job for quite some

time.  I've grown tired of being blown off.  I'm tired of employers expecting me to drop out of

school for some meager part time job that will pay me minimum wage with minimum hours.  I'm

going to school to prevent this.  I've come too far in my education to quit.  If I do drop out, I

would've wasted all that time and money I've invested for a job that will more than likely make

me miserable.  I've spent five years in a job that made me beyond miserable. If it's all the same,

I'd like to avoid that.